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 Post subject: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 7:18 pm 
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Holyman
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Have been made an offer I couldn't (afford to) refuse.

After 3 years working with the second largest bank in the Netherlands, from October I will be working with the largest bank in Canada (and 11th largest bank in the World):

The Royal Bank of Canada

Early days yet, but I anticipate trips to Canada will ensue.

All a bit unexpected. RBC share the same building in London as Rabobank... But for decency's sake, I'll be a couple of blocks down-river (still get my riverside view!), closer to the Tower of London.

Those of you with RBC accounts can function as my Customer Arena, and let me know when I have percolated sufficiently.

Gonna be fun this.

<:-P [|&|] <:-P

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 7:53 pm 
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Sergeant-Major
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Did legal weed influence this decision?

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What you have taken, Has been from here
What you gave has been given here
What belongs to you today
belonged to someone yesterday
and will be someone else’s tomorrow

Change is the Law of The Universe

-------------------------------------------------

“A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving.” – Lao Tzu


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:18 pm 
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Holyman
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It was a factor...

Coffee shop right opposite my current bank's HQ in Utrecht is going to be a dear loss...

:(

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 8:43 pm 
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Colonel
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I don’t use RBC for anything as it promotes Monarchy.


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:08 am 
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Major General
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'grats on the new job!

What is it?

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:17 am 
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Slacks wrote:
'grats on the new job!

What is it?


Fumigator of some sort, I think. Otherwise known as, "He who makes a lot of money"... (although as the Emperor Vespasian is reported to have joked, "Pecunia non olet", i.e money doesn't stink).



Whatever, hope it's fun and that he does indeed make a lot of money. :D


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:50 am 
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Holyman's first presentation:

"Before I begin let me start by saying that unless we start fixing our planet in the next 18 months we'll all be dead in 30 years due to environmental catastrophe, so it's likely none of this matters anyway.

Anyway, onto last quarters results...."

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:52 am 
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Slacks wrote:
Holyman's first presentation:

"Before I begin let me start by saying that unless we start fixing our planet in the next 18 months we'll all be dead in 30 years due to environmental catastrophe, so it's likely none of this matters anyway.

Anyway, onto last quarters results...."


:))


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:58 am 
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Holyman
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You can mock all you like...

But yup, that's more or less exactly the job.

Most of the top-tier of the banking sector has woken up to the fact that Banking has a bit of a bad reputation when it comes to being socially and environmentally responsible; and these once-complacent Financial Giants are now being threatened by "Challenger Banks", and a general and complete change in social attitudes towards finance and debt.

...And they are looking to reinvent themselves as People and Planet Prioritising, Purpose-Driven Organisations.

Which is where I come in. :)

I’ll be attached to their “Special Projects” Division, and my basic brief is to integrate Human 1.0 into the existing and ever-changing technical and environmental systems of the bank.

That’s basically my thing now. I’ve invented it.

First there was Hardware; then there was Software; now there is “Organoware” (that’s just a Place-holder at the moment: alternative suggestions very welcome!).

That is:

Viewing clusters of Human Beings allegedly “working” on the same thing, as a configurable System that can be tuned, calibrated and developed.

Agile, Lean, all the “New Ways of Working” (NWoW) bollocks, is like software that corporations have been trying to “install” on their organic operating platforms; and those installation attempts nearly always fail, because those “Operating Platforms” are not NWoW-Ready; and because organisations always try to install the entire software suite at once, despite the fact that 95% of it won’t be used straightaway.

So my role is to get everyone NWoW-Ready, and then install, configure and tune the “Software”.

All with a “Bottom-Up” approach that I can deliver, ‘cos I have the technical bona fides necessary to silence anyone who says it can’t work in their particular technical function or team.

Oh…

And it isn’t about making people happy in their jobs: it is about helping them find Meaning in their work.

Employers declare the Purpose; Employees establish a Meaningful Connection to that Purpose.

So I’m just going to make all that happen for RBC now.

:D

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:26 am 
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Holyman wrote:
You can mock all you like...


Phew!

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:51 pm 
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Colonel
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just switched over all my accounts to RBC


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 5:18 pm 
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Holyman
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Lemme have your account numbers and I'll ensure you never go hungry again.

:-bd

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 6:12 pm 
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Holyman wrote:
Lemme have your account numbers and I'll ensure you never go hungry again.

:-bd


The thing is, I’m already deep in talks with the Israelis about this, but they want HALF!!! Can you believe it?


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 7:45 pm 
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Holyman
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I'll do you 65 on the Dollar.

And I'm cutting my own throat.

||/()

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"“A rising share of the goods that make today’s capitalist economies grow would not sell if people dreamed other dreams than they do—which makes understanding, developing and controlling their dreams a fundamental concern of political economy in advanced-capitalist society.”" - Wolfgang Streeck


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:36 pm 
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Holyman
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Can you tell I've unexpectedly got some Time in my hands?

(:|

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"“A rising share of the goods that make today’s capitalist economies grow would not sell if people dreamed other dreams than they do—which makes understanding, developing and controlling their dreams a fundamental concern of political economy in advanced-capitalist society.”" - Wolfgang Streeck


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:37 pm 
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Holyman
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That is a typo.

But the more I look at it, the more I like it.

So it stays.

U=B}

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"“A rising share of the goods that make today’s capitalist economies grow would not sell if people dreamed other dreams than they do—which makes understanding, developing and controlling their dreams a fundamental concern of political economy in advanced-capitalist society.”" - Wolfgang Streeck


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 8:42 pm 
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By the way, we NEVER tire of Brits coming over here sneering at this and that, then telling us we’re “coming along nicely.” Never gets old.


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 9:43 pm 
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I'm looking forward to the progress update.

[X++X]

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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:44 pm 
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Holyman wrote:
Can you tell I've unexpectedly got some Time in my hands?

(:|


https://il2sturmovik.com/


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 11:42 pm 
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We recently had a royal commission into the banking and financial services sector, furiously fought against by the conservative Federal government, who managed to water it down somewhat (many of whom were connected to the banks in various ways). Not surprisingly, even the castrated inquiry uncovered a whole raft of despicable behaviours, leading to some resignations, but no criminal investigations.

AMP was nearly wiped out when it was found to be charging customers (including dead people) for services they hadn't provided or had even been asked for. The whole sector was exposed as a top down, high pressure demand, for EVERY FUCKING CENT THEY COULD gouge. Basically just a bunch of crooks harassing their junior staff, protected by their pals in government.

In before Libertarian, "But oh, that doesn't happen really, because market forces etc etc". Well, it fucking well does here.


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:01 am 
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El Sid wrote:
We recently had a royal commission into the banking and financial services sector, furiously fought against by the conservative Federal government, who managed to water it down somewhat (many of whom were connected to the banks in various ways). Not surprisingly, even the castrated inquiry uncovered a whole raft of despicable behaviours, leading to some resignations, but no criminal investigations.

AMP was nearly wiped out when it was found to be charging customers (including dead people) for services they hadn't provided or had even been asked for. The whole sector was exposed as a top down, high pressure demand, for EVERY FUCKING CENT THEY COULD gouge. Basically just a bunch of crooks harassing their junior staff, protected by their pals in government.

In before Libertarian, "But oh, that doesn't happen really, because market forces etc etc". Well, it fucking well does here.


We have all kinds of fuckery here too. Banks are notorious for their insane profits which are never, ever passed on to the customer.

Lots of “free-market” non-bank fuckery too. Like my personally most despised bunch of crooks - Ticketmaster. Ticketbastards as I call them. Just try going to a concert or sporting event without having to throw huge amounts of money their way. A ticket advertised at $20 will be $40 after their “service” fees, service which involves giving you a downloadable bar code you can put on your phone or print at home. It gets much worse than that, too, as their so-called “partners” (really just them) buy up all of their own tickets for high-demand events and then resell them on “partner” sites for many times the face value. Biggest fucking racket ever.


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:19 am 
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Holyman wrote:

That’s basically my thing now. I’ve invented it.

First there was Hardware; then there was Software; now there is “Organoware” (that’s just a Place-holder at the moment: alternative suggestions very welcome!).




Fleshware

Minionware

Underware

Überware

Carbonware

Xheware

Xirware

Someware

Footware

Midnightware

Mulletware

Slackware


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:24 am 
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Technically, it's Homoware. ;-)


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 12:27 am 
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El Sid wrote:
Technically, it's Homoware. ;-)


Dammit!! >>::$

We have a winner.


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 Post subject: Re: Changing Banks
PostPosted: Thu Sep 12, 2019 2:09 am 
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It just gets worse. I mentioned AMP here in Oz...


Financial planners fear ruin as AMP puts them out of business

Embattled wealth manager AMP is forcing hundreds of its own financial planners out of business, with many at risk of losing their homes as it slashes the amount it will pay them for buying out their businesses.

Key points:
AMP is chopping about 190 financial planners from its network by the end of October
The company has nearly halved the guaranteed amount it will pay planners to buy out their businesses
Planners say the move will leave many of them in debt and in danger of losing their homes
AMP unveiled its plan last month to slash the number of its aligned advisers by a third, as it aggressively tries to restructure the business.

It wrote to about 190 of its aligned financial planners, telling them their partnership with AMP was being terminated by the end of October.

It is also cutting by almost half the amount that it will pay them to buy back their business.

AMP had an agreement with planners that it would buy and sell at four times the annual earnings of each business but it has now told them, given the changes to the world of financial planning, it will only pay two-and-a-half times the earnings of businesses.

That has devastated some planners who have spoken to the ABC.

"I don't think there's words that are strong enough," one planner said.

"To be sold something on one basis, and then to have that basis completely eroded by a significant amount is absolutely reprehensible, in my opinion."


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