How many times do I have to scold you for watching shit like this Midnight..?!
It is pronounced “Bedford-shuur” – not “Bedford-shyer”.
Now remove skin color, ethnicity and religion from the comparison being made in your video.
Islamic Extremists/Radicals *ARE* Right Wing Extremists.
There is no difference in attitude or disposition towards violence.
Here, step into my Kitchen, and we’ll make a couple of Human Beings together.
Not going to do it completely from scratch, because that can be tedious and time-consuming, and most of the hard work has already been done. So here are a couple of Ready-to-Use adult male human sacs, which you can pick up at your local home-baking store.
OK. First up, we’re going to pour in our ethnic pre-mixtures (that we also picked-up “Ready-to-Use” at the home-baking store).
We’ve got two different varieties, one is the off-white “Caucasian” mixture, and the other is the dirty-brown “Arab” mixture (feel free to use the slightly darker brown “Pakistani”/”Indian” mixture, if your store is all out of “Arab”).
Try to pack the mixture in nice and tight. Remember to make a few puncture holes in the sacs at the usual points (these should be indicated on the sacs if you haven’t bought the cheapest ones), to allow for hot gases to vent during baking.
When you’re done, you’re going to need to use two different ovens. Baking time is the same – about 12-14 years – but your “Caucasian” mixture needs a lower heat than your “Arab” mixture.
Alright then. You should now have two piping-hot teenage males, one a pasty white, the other a dusky brown colour. Now it’s time to add the rest of the ingredients. And this is easier, because you are going to add the same quantity of the same type of ingredients into each; though with some ingredients, we will be using slightly different flavours in order to bring out the distinctive textures in each of our two mixtures.
OK. Let’s start with “Propensity for Violence”.
We’re going to need quite a lot of this (we’re trying to make Adult Male Humans!), so I hope you remembered to buy a ton of it at the home-baking store!
Ladle that shit in there. Some people say that you can’t put enough “Propensity for Violence” into an adult male, and of course, others say that in theory, you should be able to make a “Propensity for Violence”-free adult male… Or at least, use one of the soya-based “Propensity for Violence”-substitutes that are increasingly available.
But we’ll be sticking with the conventional approach today, so just whack as much, good old-fashioned “Propensity for Violence” as suits your own tastes into both.
Now we’re going to add the “Political Disposition” base ingredient. As you know, this comes in four varieties:
“Right”, “Left”, “Centrist”, and “Couldn’t Give a Fuck”.
Today, for both our Creations, we will be using a “Right” base.
A “Right” base is characterised primarily by its “Intolerant” texture. That is: it doesn’t blend well with many other ingredients. That’s okay though. I’m assuming this is your first time creating a Human Being (or you wouldn’t have tuned into my show!), and using a “Right” base for “Political Disposition” is more straightforward and less complicated than the other varieties (though it requires a bit more effort than the “Couldn’t Give a Fuck” base!).
It’s the unreconstructed simplicity of the “Right” base that makes it so popular with Human Creators. A “Right” base doesn’t always work with Adult Females (though it can, provided you are willing to put in the effort required). But for an Adult Male, a “Right” base is almost as easy to use as the “Couldn’t Give a Fuck” base.
Using a “Right” base does limit your later Creative options, because in addition to its “Intolerant” texture, it also has such a strong flavour, it tends to mask other flavour “notes” you may wish to add at a later stage.
But hey, these are our first Creations, so who’s judging?!
To recap then:
You should now have two fully baked Teenage Male Humans, with copious quantities of “Propensity for Violence”, and a solid, foundational layer of a “Right” base.
Because you now have an intolerant, narrow-minded and somewhat belligerent Teenager, with a strong propensity for violence, you can pretty much add whatever other ingredients you have to hand.
“Religion”, “Nationalism” and “Militarism” are very popular ingredients for this stage of the Creation process. Until you’ve got the hang of things, you’ll probably want to stick with the traditional pairings: “Hyper-Nationalist Christian” seems to bring out the strongest flavours in the “Caucasian” mixture; and likewise, “Pan-Global Islamism” is usually the best compliment for the “Arab” mixture.
But it doesn’t really matter too much, as the “Propensity for Violence” and “Right” base that you’ve used will dominate your resulting Creation, and the “Religion”, “Nationalism” and/or “Militarism” decorations you add are only going to fool those who trust their eyes more than their tongues when it comes to taste!
So, when you’ve finished applying those decorative effects, you’ll want to put both your (nearly finished!) creations back in the Oven. The good news here is that you can now use the same Oven for both, at the same temperature (as explosively hot as you can afford!) for the same length of time (another 5 – 10 years should do it).
When you’ve finished, you will have two, piping-hot Adult Male Humans, with a substantial propensity for violence and an almost complete intolerance for others’ opinions and points of view.
You can pretty much serve them up at any Society Function, as more or less everyone recognises them and already knows what they taste like. So you should have no fears about disappointing any of your guests!
I hope you’ll be able to tune in next week, when we will be looking at how to prepare and present our Creations in the most aesthetically-pleasing and familiar way, to suit individual guests with allergies and specialist dietary requirements.